So I have been through hell for a while, and I’ve not really had people around me that are present in the moments when I need them, or in the ways that I have needed.

I have felt like I’m expected to be everybody’s rock, but whilst I’m anchoring them I don’t think they realise that I’m at the end of rope drowning under my emotions.

Today I had a small win, where I gained back some of my power, that was taken from me by a bully in my recent past. Though I didn’t confront the bully, I was able to say what I felt to someone else that had helped this person take my power. So today I feel a little bit stronger.

I am happy to have had it happen the way it did because after having this heart attack I have felt trapped by everything. Trapped by my family, trapped by my past, trapped by my future prospects.
I have wants and I have needs, now I just have to realise them and step toward those goals.

One thing that has been playing in my mind is getting a new place, which I can’t at the moment… rental shortage in my state and the fact that I don’t have the salary to buy anything past a shoe box. I know if I could step through the door of a house that is truly mine, that I would feel even better about myself.
But hey, what can I do at this point, just keep on doing what I do and maybe just maybe I’ll win the lottery or something. LOL

Now because I have been doing a bit of venting I figure Y’all deserve a little sunshine. So I will attach a few pics from my last cruise at the end of this post. Thanks for letting me have a voice everyone.

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Have a great day, everyday, wherever you might be.